Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Here's what I gleaned from....

A Wife After God's Own Heart, by Elisabeth George:

#1 First things first - my own relationship with God - how is it? I can't work on anything else til I'm sure that's growing in the direction it needs to be. Like any other relationship, it requires time invested, time spent together, regularly.

#2 DH and I need to be a team, and someone has to be in charge. God said DH is, whether I like that every single day, whether the rest of the world out there agrees or not. He leads, I follow. My job is to help, follow, respect and love him. I don't worry over what his job is, I just do mine. Our team comes before anything else in life, except our own personal relationships with God.

#3 We need to communicate well, and there's always going to be room for improvement. My words are to be soft, sweet, suitable and scant. My son, who is soft-spoken and short on words, told me he decided years ago not to talk much because he realized he'd get in less trouble that way. Smart boy!

#4 Continue to make intimacy a priority, even if it means getting out the calendar and scheduling it. If I'm continually 'too tired' then I need to look at my priorities.....DH has told me he thinks as we get older, there are many areas that fit the 'use it or lose it' bill, and this is one!

#5 My money is his money. If I am wasting my money I'm wasting his money too. How we spend our money is a great megaphone of where our heart is. We decided many years ago, (after I bought a new washer without consulting him) if an item was $100 or more then we'd discuss it with the other before making a purchase. I think that's still a good rule to follow.

#6 Make the bed, every day. Our home is to be a refuge, a welcoming place to come in from the storm of life. Little things make a difference. Again, if I don't 'have time' to care for our home then I need to look at how I'm spending my time. Making beds, making a to-do list every day, planning menus, etc. all honor DH's efforts to provide for us, and make our home a nicer place to spend time.

#7 My relationship with my children continues after they are grown, and comes before all other relationships except that with my husband. I loved reading this! My children, and their spouses and their children - time, money, prayer - all are to continue to be invested in them. Elisabeth called it, 'befriending' them. This was one of my favorite chapters in the book, especially now that our children are grown and a delight to spend time with.

#8 Serving the Lord falls after my personal relationship with God, my husband, my children. I'm to make sure I'm baking cookies that stay at home before I'm busy baking cookies to deliver to VBS. This one area is so easy to mess up, and I'd love some redo on it. I don't get any do-overs, but I can look at my calendar today and be sure it's in order. I'm to serve, but not at a level that causes me to neglect higher priorities.

Overall, great book, very readable, very encouraging!


Gretchen said...

1. i agree. off I go for some quiet time NOT in front of the computer
2. I'm learning this, usually the hard way, but it's so intuitive when I let my pride leave the situation(s).
3. About 1/4 here--definitely room for refinement.
4. Use it or lose it, indeed. We can be creative in so many other uses of time, why not this one, too?
5. True. Actually, I AM getting better with this one.
6. 80% accuracy with this one. Maybe if I work at it, I can turn my B- into an A-. :)
7. Do they grow? Do they leave? Oh, good. Oh, i kid.
8. This is SUCH a timely reminder for me, every single day. I have a wonderful worship pastor who always reminds me that my family is my first ministry.

What a great book! xxxooogjh

Kelly said...

Love, love, love Elizabeth George, and her wisdom on being a wife is something I could use some refreshing on.

We are first and foremost Team Davis, and I have come a long way in recognizing Rusty as the head coach. However, I still think I could work on a few of her other points...

I especially cherish her words about ministering to my own family first. I think in today's world we are easily consumed by guilt if we aren't constantly "busy", and I fell into the trap of thinking doing for others was a justifiable form of busy-ness. One time after delivering a meal to others and then driving my own family through the drive through it occurred to me that my thinking was skewed:-)

Rusty deserves the best I have to offer, and the example I set by cherishing that relationship will go along way towards teaching my girls about love and respect.

Thanks so much for sharing this! You've inspired me to go re-read a few Elizabeth George favorites.

Dear Daddy Blog said...

Wow. Very, very strong meat to chew on this morning.

#8 really really hit me hard, right in the old kisser. Hospitality is my strength and I adore doing things for others - taking neighbors cookies, watching girlfriends kids, delivering a meal to a new mom. But HOW convicting to think that I do those things SO often without doing anything special or out of the ordinary for my own little flock here first. Brings tears to my eyes.

I am taking your advice and starting my "redo" - right here today. Thank you for that nudge that I needed. God definitely used you this morning in our house!

And I'm starting the day off right - with my pumpkin spice creamer. Heaven on earth I tell you. Thanks for the reminder the other day!

Hugs, Michelle

Diane@Diane's Place said...

I really need to look for this book, Bev. After 23 years of marriage and now empty nesters, I still have room for a lot of improvement.

Great points!

Hope all is well with you and yours, Bev. :o)

Love and hugs,


Betty said...

I need this book. I think when the kids leave home, it´s like starting a new marriage again. Lot´s to work on!

Karen said...

I have a daily devotional by Elizabeth George and I picked it up last night for some bedtime reading. I wondered if she'd written anything else! I think I was meant to read this post. I love all of these. (Re: #8 -- I finally DID make cookies for my son, and the dog ATE them. See my blog!)

Elizabeth - Scrappygolden said...

I feel like I am always a work in progress and love seeing lists like this. While I feel it's good to be content in one's life and not covet, I also think that contentment can bring complacency and then we start to stagnate. Onward Christian soldiers! :)

Susanne said...

This was a very good gleaning Bev! I think I'll look into getting the book. That last one was a biggy for me to learn.