We're Down to Six Days

So we move in 6 days. After 1 1/2 years of preparation and really it's something more like 3 years, we're down to 6 days. The condo is a bit of a mess with boxes everywhere, and most of the charm has been packed away.

We took down the little bed our grandson slept in when he'd stay with us. And I didn't cry. We took it over to his other grandmother's so he can enjoy sleeping in a familiar bed there. Our church called us down front, gathered around us and prayed for us a week ago, and we cried a bit over that. I went away for a weekend with my five best friends, and mostly we laughed. Only a few tears.

But inside I'm a bundle of emotions - not wanting to turn loose of our family here, excited to be heading out to the life waiting for us in Texas, to being with family there. The smallest thoughts turn me into an emotional puddle, and I'm mostly holding it all in check.

And that's exhausting. We're plenty busy with moving preparations, but it leaves little time for blogging, or surfing the web, or putzing or even reading a book, except that the last book from our library is due the day we leave, so I'm feverishly reading every night trying to get it done.

Moving is over-rated. Leaving family behind is over-rated. The blessing of being with kids you've lived away from for 7 or 11 or more years can't be measure. And finally being with grandkids you haven't spent any time with - the same.

It still doesn't make it easy. I'm finding myself thinking about those days when we'd climb in the family car, drive to college, and drop off one of our kids. I'd literally cling to them and sob, and it didn't help one bit that I had others at home. It was for the best, I knew that, but it still didn't make it any easier.

So I know it's probably blasphemy to even compare, but when Elizabeth Elliott's husband was killed by a spear while trying to evangelize a tribe somewhere I don't remember, and she got word that he'd died, she said she stood at her kitchen sink and felt God telling her to 'do the next thing.' Stay busy, keep moving. One thing at a time.

That's what we're doing here - busy from sun-up to sun-down, and steeling up for all the goodbyes each day holds. Looking toward the welcoming hugs waiting for us down south and getting ready to tell one chunk of our family goodbye. How did those mothers of daughters heading out on wagon trains do it?

A Brave New World..... of Retirement

Is it vacation if you don't have to go back to work? When we walk off that plane, gather our luggage, find our car, and drive home, but Don doesn't go back to work on Monday - was it a vacation?

Weird, very weird this new life we've just embarked on. Deep, crazy, flying around my head thoughts about it all - and not at all figured out yet.

I am now the owner of a husband who no longer has an office, or blackberry, or email address, or company car. He's all mine, whether I'm ready for it or not.

He may be thinking he's the owner of a wife who has a cell phone, a car she's used to driving when she pleases, two email addresses, girlfriends, and stuff to do. Wonder what he's thinking about all that?!

I've joined the ranks of women who take their husbands grocery shopping, and neither one of us is sure what we think about that.

I've joined the ranks of women who wake up because the room grew light and I look over and he's lying there too, and we just stay there for a few minutes, talking about our day, then both of us head to the coffee pot, pour a cup and amble over to the sofa to read the paper, sip coffee, and I suspect one of us will say, "what do you have going on today?"

Weird, weird. Nice. Still weird. It's a new world - a little direction please, God?

The Power of Half - Update

A few weeks ago I posted about how moved I was over a story I read - a family who sold their house and gave half the money away, and moved into the smaller house and lived happily ever after. Really. So we decided to give away half of our grocery budget for the month of February.

For two paychecks, I stashed away the money, and shopped with the other half. I also made an effort to use what was in our pantry and freezer.

We had more than plenty and it's nice to have that Christmas ham (given to us by Don's company) out of the freezer. You know the saying about two people and a ham..... Ice cream tastes fine, even with a bit of freezer burn, with a little chocolate syrup on it. Superbowl snacks were easy to come up with - just pull out all the boxes in the freezer and consider it nice variety to have taquitos and super pretzels, and such. Our freezer and pantry are a bit more lean, and with moving 1200 miles south just a month away, that's a good thing - less to move.

So finally, finally yesterday we had a Saturday afternoon when there was time to go shopping. With a mental number in our head, we drove to the nearest discount grocery and started down the aisles.

Don't you sometimes have a conversation with someone, seemingly random and you know one comment will stay with you forever? Talking to someone awhile back, he told me the food at food banks is, in general, of very poor quality. That's it hard to use some of it, hard to take ingredients and put them together to come up with something. So we wanted to shop towards a goal of giving items like pancakes with syrup, or chili that had beans and diced tomatoes, or spaghetti with sauce. Peanut butter with grape jelly. And no ramen noodles.

As the cart began to fill to the top, we still had money left and so we added about a dozen packages of cookies because in spite of the problem of overweight kids in America, we still think a kid needs a cookie now and then. And we threw in toilet paper and laundry soap and bath soap and dish soap because if we're not mistaken, food stamps only cover food items, but everybody still needs to do laundry and dishes and take baths.

We don't know who will end up with any of these groceries - it might surprise us to see them. We do know there are kids out there who will have cereal or pancakes for breakfast before they head to school, who will come home to a hot meal, and maybe a parent offering a cookie and a listening ear. Maybe, just maybe it's easier for a parent to lend a listening ear when someone else helps them provide the basics for their family.

We did not give til it hurt, we didn't even give til it cut into our own needs being met, and honestly it felt so good to give that I'm not sure it could be counted as giving anything away at all. We were much more on the receiving end with this one. I imagine that's how the family who gave away half their house felt too, on a much bigger scale. We're already thinking, listening and looking around for where we can give away half again - soon. I'll keep you posted.

Lunch Box Love Note....

February 25, 2010

Dear Don,

It seems appropriate to put a note in this very last lunch I’m packing for you to take to work. The very last one. I wonder how many there have been? Literally thousands I’m sure.

It’s ironic that packing your lunch was never my favorite chore. Leaning too hard to the efficient side, I liked it more once I realized I could pack several at a time. There’s something extra tender about this last one.

I want you to know today, as you spend your last full day at work, how much it has meant to me - to know the man you are, what you are made of, what you invested in your job; I was always aware that it was for us, even when it didn’t feel good. When I didn’t love the long hours I did love the reminder that you are a man who gives his all to whatever task is at hand.

I respect you more than any man I have ever known. I love you, but it’s nice to respect you too. I am immensely blessed to be your wife, to have you as the head of our family. You are leaving everything that is familiar, and a place that you have found your worth in for over 30 years. I hope you can walk away with your head held high, knowing you gave it everything you had, you treated people with respect when they didn’t deserve it, you looked out for those under you, you were kind when others weren’t, you swallowed your pride more times than you care to count for a higher goal.

Our family gave up time with you while you were working, but even when you weren’t home with us, you were giving our children a priceless example of work ethic, pride in self, a respect for authority. You showed them what being responsible looked like, and how to persevere when you wanted to quit. You enabled me to give our daughters an example of how to support their husbands in their career.

Now it’s time to play! You’ve given your best to your career for many years, and it’s time for the next stage, when our kids and their kids will be blessed to share time with you, learn more life lessons, get to know their father and grandfather at this next stage of life.

I’m counting on being blessed to pack a lot more lunches for you, but these will be tucked into a cooler for you to take on the boat, or maybe a fishing trip on the road with your son or son-in-laws, or me. Because really there isn’t anything in life I want to do that isn’t at your side. I’ve been blessed to be there for almost 29 years and I’m counting on us being together for that many more.

I love you,

Bev

Toots and Bedtime Prayers and Such

Reasons to hang out with a little person:

'Toots' are funny, and frequent.

Listening to their bedtime prayers is priceless:  'Dear God: Thank you for my family and friends, and Momma and Daddy, and Papa and Grammy, and Smokester, even if he's a scoundrel, and Miah and Bull. Please help Momma and Daddy come back soon from their 'sweethearts at the beach' vacation. Amen."

You get to go see the Squeakquel to Alvin and the Chipmunks, even when you're 50+.

You have a refreshed appreciation for your adult children, who are busy raising your grandchildren. Thanks, God for the reminder to express that appreciation.

'Toots' are funny, and frequent. I already said that but they're frequent enough to warrant repeating.

After spending the entire day with them, you, too sleep like a baby.

Being Fully Where You Are

After a week here in Texas with a precious new grandbaby, I fly home today. It's hard to believe that God has so blessed our family, widening our circle, from what we call 'the original five' (and 'fab five' when no one else is listening). We've grown to 13! Remembering days of the five of us sitting around the Thanksgiving table, knowing it should have been more crowded but family was scattered across the country, it's wonderful to know the table will be more crowded in years to come. We might even have enough now to put up that 'kid table' everyone talks about. That would be such fun, and call for a lot of mashed potatoes too!

I've had a few mornings, just me and this little one, sitting in the armchair of the living room, while her parents grabbed another hour or so of desperately needed sleep. Sitting here for over an hour, looking down at her face I've been washed over with many emotions.

How precious is life?! We take babies for granted. We shouldn't. They are a gift, not an automatic one, and how anyone can watch a newborn breathing those tiny, shallow little breaths, eyelashes fluttering and the teensiest smiles fluttering across their face and not see the hand of God is beyond me. God's plan to take nine months to create this new one, bring her into the world with so much labor and angst and effort, and have her be completely, utterly helpless - when a new foal is up running around the pasture in no time - obviously He had something much different and more grand in mind for we who are 'created in His image'. To get to spend a bit of time holding this little one, so fresh and new in the world, is a fleeting treasure.

Being on the sidelines, watching a couple grow into their new role as parents, oh the effort. The exhaustion. The concern. I wonder if that's how God feels about us sometimes, watching as we struggle and stumble along?

I fly home today, to my husband, and another daughter and her little family. Another grandchild who is waiting for me to build snowmen and make snow angels, and read stories and play Hungry Hippos. The mother / grammy in me is torn everytime I leave one to be with another. God, help me to be fully where I am right now. To recognize every day is laced with fleeting moments like these, that won't come again. Don't look back. Don't fret about what's ahead. Just be here, fully, in this moment.

Almost More Fun Than I Could Stand

You're never too old to spend a day pretending to be a kid again.

Having a kid to spend it with makes it more fun, and the neighbors won't think you're as crazy.

The kid will encourage you to 'do it again' and again and again.

Squirmy dog - optional.

Grumpy Old Bear - my first knitted toy from Itty Bitty Nursery by Susan Anderson.

A new grandbaby is just about ready to make her appearance on the scene and this is just for her.

Saturday Stitchers Graduate!

Here they are, with their final exam, the 'Mama Bag':
Leslie, teacher's pet :-0 She has several handmade Christmas gifts started, and carved out a craft room in part of her basement.

Tami - on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being highest, she told me she loved sewing a '2' about a month ago. Tami had literally never sewn on a button before we started meeting. She has 8 more 'mama bags' cut out, in various sizes to give family members for Christmas. The one on the left is hers to keep; the one on the right is going to a niece with a couple of skeins of yarn and knitting needles. She told me she's now a '12'.

Melissa, one of the sweetest people on the planet. Her great aunt gave her a machine halfway through the class, and in spite of having twin 3 year olds and a baby she has great intentions to continue sewing. She finished her bag in one session, with both of us breaking into a sweat to pull it off.

My bag, with a bit of a variation. I L.O.V.E. it! I'm sad that I forgot to take photos of Carrie, Reba and Abbey. Carrie took the ball and ran with it, going to Goodwill and buying sweaters that she fashioned into snow caps for every member of her family. She also made sets of wool ornaments and several 'Mama Bags'. I'm pretty sure there's no stopping Carrie now that she's started.
My precious thank you gift from the girls - a little Christmas tree for our apartment. It's quite happy sitting on the kitchen counter and I love turning the room lights off, to enjoy the little white lights on it. We'd decided to pass on decorating this year for simplicity's sake, but this little tree is not only a sweet addition, it will be wonderful in my craft room next year. And the next. And the next.

The glass ornaments have sewing machines and needles on them!

Reindeer with pin cushions on their backs.
Garlands of buttons and spools of thread.

The best ornament, a little mitten sewn by each girl in the class. Teaching this class was a gift to me and I can't wait to see how the girls use what they learned. Sweet stuff.

We're talking about meeting in January for a couple of sessions to uncover the mystery of using a pattern (pajama pants), using stitch witchery, gathering and a few more skills that should have them all well on their way to hours of sewing fun. I can't wait.

Delicious, if not Exactly Perfect....

Thanksgiving morning, a solid tradition regardless of a wide-spread sentiment that it should be abolished - gathering for cinnamon rolls, fruit salad and Macy's Parade. Not that anyone is suggesting canceling the edibles, just the parade, but we held firm. Even if not everyone in attendance paid close attention to every single float and band and dancing act. Their loss!

Some of us didn't see the need for silverware - just dug right in, literally. I do believe he was mining for marischino cherries... The parade was followed by watching the National Dog Show, and of course the Scotty won - the Scotty always wins. I personally would have chosen the Airedale just because I love his funny face so much. In heaven I plan to have at least one airedale.

The boys played while they waited for the bird to be done. (Do you not love the little watch on that chubby arm? He doesn't even care if it works, or if it's right side up, just that he's wearing a watch like his Daddy and Papa.)

The 22 lb turkey took way too long to bake, because a certain person who will remain unnamed did not follow the suggestion on the package; she was stubborn and went ahead and over-stuffed the turkey, so that some of us ended up sitting on the kitchen floor in front of the oven door, watching the pop-up timer that was refusing to budge. We ate jar gravy but the mashed potatoes, all ten lbs of them, were real as rain. Obviously we had our priorities right!

So life in a care-free condo isn't always what it's cracked up to be. Apparently we had a 'rocking throne'. We could have called the landlords and asked that the owners send a plumber, but since Don knew how to fix it and said it would be a fraction of the cost, he took care of it.

Some things in life should not be examined too closely....

Hope your Thanksgiving holiday was as nice as ours. Not perfect but nice all the same.

Miscellaneous Thanksgiving Happies

A bit of catch up - we saw 2012. Definitely a 'Big Screen' must see - the effects were great. I've also got requests in to see Amelia and Old Dogs sometime during the holidays. We watched the newer version of The Alamo on TV, checked out from the library and that may help make up for the fact that the movie tickets at the theater were $9.75 E.A.C.H.!!!!!! Good night, nurse! It WAS really cool to watch The Alamo only a week after being there.

Sewing classes are going great -

Lisabeth cutting out her table runner. I love that at 50, she decided to learn to sew - you go girl!
Tami, who tends to sew while gnashing teeth. I admire her tenacity. Tami had never threaded a needle or sewn on a button, so she automatically gets an A for attempting it.
Sweet Melissa - truly sweet through and through. Her great aunt was so pleased she decided to learn to sew she gave her a brand new machine!
This one will make you dizzy - a blurred photo of Leslie working on her table runner. It ended up super cute.

Next we felted wool sweaters and jackets to make snow caps. I loved that the washing machine looked like the Red Sea! We made these this past Saturday, and they were such fun - a one day project that taught the girls to make a dart, applique and let their creative juices flow a bit. The caps were so fast to make I whipped one up Sunday morning for a baby shower - took me all of 30 minutes start to finish and cost virtually nothing. I'll be making more of these for sure. We've got two more classes, and our next project is a 'Mama Bag' that will teach the girls to make pleats, line a bag, more topstitching practice, whip up a pocket or two as needed, sew straps - they should be able to use the bag project for many future gifts. I put a notice in our church bulletin asking if anyone had old machines tucked away in closets that could use a new home. Hopefully we'll get one or two to give to the girls who don't own a machine yet. Wouldn't that be great?

Here's a great recipe to use up your leftover turkey. Pumpkin Turkey Chili from allrecipes.com - the woman who cooked it told me about a fabulous website - www.supercook.com - type in the ingredients you have and they come up with a recipe. The pumpkin in the chili was not really discernable but did give it a nice thickness and would also probably make it go further and be a healthier version. It should be perfect for all those football games, and the men don't need to know about the pumpkin.
My car is a cross to bear for my husband - not horrible but not great. I keep telling him it's my traveling purse but it makes him groan to open the doors and peer within. So I bought this at Target this weekend - the Eddie Bauer car organizer. I paid around $10.00 - it has two cooler pouches - for bottles and snacks and they might come in handy on road trips or errands when I want to pack a lunch rather than grab McDonalds...

Did everyone else know that you can't go into the store and pick up a jar of Mentholatum? Not only that, if you go to the pharmacy counter and ask anyone under 40 they probably don't even know what it is and you'll have to spell it for them to look it up in their computer. Bless the heart of the pharmacist at CVS who told me he orders in a jar about once a year, for $4.50 and that it would be in the next day, because Don's mother raised him with it, and you can't even start to tell anybody that the way their mother nursed them is anything less than perfect. Since the ointment has a shelf life of about 25 years I ordered two - that should hold us this side of heaven.

Last, I bought this at our church bookstore this weekend. Listening to it, I found myself driving down the street trying to hold back tears enough to see the cars coming at me in the other lane. Steven Curtis Chapman's new CD about the loss of his daughter - whew - indescribable lyrics worth listening to because we all can use a reminder, now and then, of how fragile life really is. Listen to it here - a great way to spend part of Thanksgiving, remembering all God has given each one of us, and most of those blessings are wound up in those he's put into our lives. Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

Sleepover at Papa and Grammy's

The typical sleepover at our place involves a couple shows of Little Bear with Papa, snuggling on the sofa, then books and prayers when Landon is tucked into the little toddler bed we kept here for just these times.

Then the next morning is all about staying in pjs as long as possible, Saturday morning Noggin and french toast or waffles or pancakes.

Pancakes shaped into little pumpkins.

Lots of butter, lots of syrup, of course. That's the whole point of pancakes, isn't it?

And cereal necklaces to take home. One for Landon, one for momma to eat later!

Soaking up these times with this little boy, storing them in my heart to remember later, down the road, when too many miles separate us.

Overcoming Trust Issues

A closet for hanging jackets would be nice. So would a couple more cupboards for the dishes. I could live with a better venting system for the dryer. The one we have now fogs all the windows in the place making it resemble the parking lot of a drive in theater, and I'm thinking the neighbors might be wondering what on earth is going on over here!

I could go with a bit more insulation -We can already tell it's going to be drafty here this winter. Our vehicle doesn't fit in the garage unless we stop and fold in the mirrors, so the garage has become our 'basement storage'.

So the place is less than perfect, but I can live with all of the before mentioned issues.

But I really miss having birds feeding on the deck.

When I was in Colorado visiting my sister, Barb, I noticed she had one of these.

As we sat at her kitchen table drinking coffee the sweet little birds would come right to the window and eat away. Actually they had a waiting line, with some being not so good at waiting their turns. They'd fly up in a huff of feathers and rush the other one off. Obviously they did not pass 'learn to wait your turn' in kindergarten!

When I got home I went to the bird store and bought one for our deck window. It's been a good month, and they've just begun to acknowledge the feeder is there, full, waiting for them to dive in. It took three weeks of sprinkling seed on the floor of the deck, for them to get used to us at all. Apparently our sparrows have trust issues.

Guys, I only have five months left here - you better muster some courage before I pull the plug and it's all gone.

Everytime I would see this feeder, sitting there unused it would make me think of my own trust issues. God has so much good stuff just waiting right there for me, but my fears, of 'whatever', keep me from it. Maybe it's a God thing that it's taken these little sparrows so long to work up the courage to draw near. Maybe I needed the visual? Probably so. Most things in life have a lesson from God thrown in there if we take the time to notice.

'Bev, do you really believe I parted the Red Sea?

healed the sick?

rose from the dead?

Then it's pretty silly to be afraid of A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

I've got it covered. Come and feast!!

The Absolute Necessity of Having Girlfriends

After being home from a ten day trip to Colorado for all of four days I left again. That's enough time to do laundry, pay any bills that caused utilities to be shut off, throw out slimy vegetables and furry food, and sleep in your own bed. At least that's what I told myself.

What started with a group of four women has grown to about seven, sometimes eight; women who have shared enough of life that we are bound together, regardless of differences in our life situations. We've started a tradition of getting together for birthdays, and once in awhile somebody finds a way for us to get away for a night or two to a cabin or condo or such. One of our friends had just finished building a beautiful cabin in the mountains near here, and she invited the gang up to celebrate a birthday.

Some went for two nights, some of us were only able to join for one night. We took tons of appetizers, bottles of wine, plenty of desserts which might have been mostly chocolate, junk magazines, chick flicks, comfy pjs and that's about it.

It rained the entire time we were there;
we didn't care.

We all came home tired.
We weren't there for sleep.
We might have all gained a bit of weight.
That's just the sign of a successful girl trip!



I'm beginning to feel like I've learned a lot about friendship in the past fourteen years here in PA, and I owe my thanks to this beautiful group of women.

Thank you, Cathy, Becky, Carol, Lisa Beth, Robin and Karen for making life rich and fun and full to overflowing with the blessing of friendship. And for not wearing makeup the entire weekend.

Here's a great recipe that Carol brought to share; we could not stop eating it! Funny, I was planning to make it today and was in the grocery store without my copy of the recipe, wondering if I was remembering all the ingredients - ran into Carol who was there, recipe in hand, shopping for the ingredients to make it for weekend guests. I'd forgotten the red pepper and the red onion. You're going to love it - it's perfect for watching fall football.

Texas Caviar:

1 can pinto beans (the least offensive, BTW) drained

1 can black beans, drained

1 can corn, drained

1 red pepper, chopped

1 green pepper, chopped

1 red onion, diced fine

Mix together in a bowl then make the marinade:

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup cider vinegar

1/4 cup olive oil

Dissolve sugar in vinegar. tir constantly while adding oil. Pour over bean mixture. Refrigerate overnight. Drain excess liquid before serving. Use scoop style chips to eat it up!

Apple Picking Time in Pennsylvania

Oh October in Pennsylvania, how I love you. Beautiful leaves of red and gold, crisp air, and crunchy apples and big fat orange pumpkins everywhere you look.



Here in southwestern Pennsylvania we are blessed with two local farms that open up their fields to picking. And Hayrides. And corn mazes. And free apple cider and all such other good stuff you can imagine. (I saw a sign for fried oreos - that may be worth going back for some weekend soon!)

We visited one of the farms today, letting Landon set the pace. He chose to tell the goats hello first, before we ventured over to the apple orchards.

Everybody needs to pet a goat now and then. Letting them nibble on your clothes is optional.

Soaking in some nice afternoon sun.

Nice chickens and roosters too. We counted a dozen eggs, freshly laid in the chicken coop!

Such fun - a rooting pig.

Then on to play in the corn box, taste some cider, then grab a bag and head to the fields.

The apples ready for pickin' were Red Delicious, Golden Delicious and another I can't remember the name of but they were sort of green with a blush of red, and tasted wonderful!

A boost on Mama's shoulders was nice for picking a few up high.

Giggles with Grammy.

We told ourselves they were clean enough from the last rain to eat one right there on the spot, five seconds off the tree. That's about as fresh as you can get.

Then one more time to the petting area, to tell the goats goodbye, chase the pig til he squealed one more time, snuggle the bunny, then talk Grammy into buying a sticky red sucker for the ride home.

Please, Pig, can we be friends? Please stop running so I can pet you!

Good stuff. No, great stuff. And that doesn't even include the crunchy apples.

P.S. Have I mentioned lately how much I'm loving this new camera. Someone asked before what kind we chose - Canon PowerShot SX10IS. It's a dandy and I've still got it set on AUTO!