Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Wearing Your Pants Around Your Ankles

We live in the northeast. It's cold here for a L.O.N.G. time, running approximately from late September to mid-April or later. We wear long pants much of the year, only making the switch to shorts for a brief, at most, three month period in mid-summer.

When we do make the switch to shorts, most of us look pale and pitiful for awhile.

And yes, tanning establishments are thriving in our part of the country, economy scheconomy! Anyone around here sporting a tan has purchased it with a pretty penny, probably preparing for prom. Most of us over 30 know better because we can't afford botox and/or the thought of looking like Joan Rivers is a bit much. So we're a pale lot.

So - I stopped in to visit Leslie and Landon yesterday. When he came down from his nap, he was sporting the most adorable pajamas, with shorts on the bottom. The long pajamas had been tucked away, albeit temporarily.

Every time he'd look down and see his pale, white legs sticking out of the shorts, he'd proceed to pull down his pajama pants, til they reached his ankles. Then he'd look up and realize his bottom was uncovered, and he'd begin to pull them up again. Cheap entertainment it was. The kid is only 2 1/2 so he can't remember a season where his legs have been uncovered. I don't know which was funnier, seeing his antics or realizing why they were happening.

This morning I pulled on a pair of chopped off sweat pants. They reach somewhere above my knees, one leg being a bit longer than the other, but both clearly showing my pasty white legs. I refrained from pulling the lovely things down to my ankles but as I was standing at the kitchen counter, I noticed my knees, or the backsides anyway. One bulges out more than the other, and as I got to thinking about it, I realized there was definitely something wrong. Knees are supposed to bulge in the front, and the backs should at least be the same size. I hadn't seen them in awhile so it'd escaped my notice before today. My left one is noticeably larger, and all of a sudden it occured to me, I likely have a 'Bakers Cyst', not that I knew anything about them, but I was pretty sure that's what it was.

Thank you Internet - sure enough, that's what it is. I've been thinking my dumb knees are doing great, no swelling, etc. Now that I think about it, and isn't hindsight just the best?, I realized I have felt like I need to put my feet up on a footstool or something to watch TV because they are just 'tired'. Apparently that darned fluid didn't show up in the front, but rather the back, so now I have an appointment with the friendly orthopedic doctor to discuss options.

I feel like Pooh, "Oh bother". What the heck? I don't want to get them drained again, having already experienced that once and knowing it brought back memories of bringing our three children into the world. I don't want them to shoot more fluids in the front, because the chances are it'd run around to the back anyway, making my knees look two-faced or two-sided.

Maybe I should just do like Landon does, and pull my shorts down to my ankles, showing my rear instead. I've certainly been known to do that before!

And what to say about living in a part of the country where you go so long without seeing your pasty white legs, and knees, that you forget what they look like? Summer is still too far in the distant future to even consider going there.


Leah in Iowa said...

I am imagining Landon and his predicament. And lauging! Too cute!

So sorry to hear about your knee trouble. Hopefully it won't hinder all the fun you're sure to have in retirement. I'll pray you and your doctor can find an effective treatment quickly.

As for shorts, I gave up wearing those a few years ago and stick strictly with capris during the spring and summer. I never did have the prettiest legs, and capris take care of it. =)

Becky said...

That story of Landon had me smiling big. So cute. And it makes total sense in his little head. Wonderful!

And your poor knee. I feel your pain. So sorry.

You know, I have not worn shorts for years. I just don't do it. That is why God made capris in my opinion. I love me some capris.

Becky said...

Hey, I see Leah is the same as me on her opinion of shorts. I need to go visit her and introduce myself :)

Bev said...

Oh Becky, if you don't know Leah - then run right over. She's delightful! And I've loved capris since Jackie Kennedy made them the rage, being 5'10" pants are never long enough anyway, so I'm a big fan of them. Those shorts are just for painting and awful cleaning jobs. I don't care what the fashion gods may say, I'm sticking with capris - they won't be prying them from my clinched hands!

Gretchen said...

Oh, bother, Bev. I'm sorry to hear about your knee. Cute, cute story about Mr. Landon. What a sweetie.

I feel you on the pasty whites, babe. Feel.you.

Barb said...

The one pair of shorts I own is for hair coloring day - only. All other warm days? Capris. I think it's universal in our age group.

I can't stand the thought of you having to have that knee drained again. I swear, if I could, I'd give you my knees. And you could give me your hips. Because mine suck. We could trade. Since we have pretty much the same DNA, it might work!


Susanne said...

Oh Bev, that sounds like it might be painful. Praying that thing goes down.

Picturing Landon doing that cracked me right up. Yeah, we have pasty white leg syndrome here too. And add to that the spring "I need a machette to shave" syndrome.

Linda said...

I am originally from the northeast so know whereof you speak! I can remember going a whole summer without ever once wearing shorts. It just didn't get warm enough.
I love the story about Landon.
I hope there is an easy option for you Bev. None of it sounds like much fun.