Sunday, April 19, 2009

Turning Points...

Do you ever get that feeling that you're at a pivot point in who you are, how you want to spend your days? What's important to you, what fulfills you? Now and then I do, and I'm there right now. Last night as I was lying in bed, drifting off to sleep I found myself thinking - I'm comfortable just being me. Not a finished product but I don't need to be entirely remade either. It's been a long, slow slide to get here.

I've used up time that was precious coming to the revelation that I don't need a lot of people gathered around me. My family and a few close friends. I prefer a cup of coffee with one person rather than being part of a loud, full of people gathering - unless it's family, or people who feel like they are. I've come to the realization that it would feel hellish to be stuck on a never ending episode of the View, which is probably why I never watch it. All those women talking over each other, mostly complaining - not my cup of tea. Rather, I'd prefer a cup of tea - with one other person. Maybe Gretchen or Becky or .... I've come to realize I don't love 'talking over'... Just because Oprah is Oprah doesn't make it okay for her to interrupt guests. I'm weary of people who talk loud to be heard. Words worth hearing don't need to be shouted.

And spending my time? Doing those things that bless those people, or nourish my soul while playing with creating.

Sewing and knitting and baking and playing with flowerbeds - all of which are referred to as 'gentle arts' by someone I just heard about. Jane Brocket apparently started a blog a few years back, just to share her love of all things domestic, and it's absolutely delicious.

I heard about this book from a blog I linked to last week, The Gentle Art of Domesticity. It absolutely speaks to me, and I could get lost in the pages. So I found myself thinking of the last twenty years I spent getting here, and knowing that I likely have about twenty to thirty ahead of me when I can enjoy these activities, before they become difficult. May sound morbid to some but I think it's good to measure our days, feel the weight of them as they sift through our fingers. Better to do that than have empty hands, that time has finished sifting through and I didn't realize it.

If you find yourself at a pivot point, or just wanting to spend some time doing things that nourish your soul and bless others, you can go here. She doesn't allow sharing quotes or photos - so go have a look-see yourself. I think you'll be glad you did.


Kelly said...

Beautiful , Bev. I can't wait to visit this site- sounds like just what I need. I am most often described as "bubbly", and it's ture, I am a natural born talker who loves the company of others, but as I mature, I find that I am also more inclined to cherish the silence and peace than a crowd. Time chatting without "talking over", or even sitting in companiable silence with my girls (11 and 11) while we read... these are the moments that are filling my soul these days.
Growing up, my Mama used to sew, crochet, and tinker around the house on so many projects. I'm honored to recognize those same desires appearing in my heart.

Kelly said...

Oops! I meant "true" not ture... should have proofread!

Gretchen said...

Oh...I'll go and see. Your writing is beautiful on this, Bev. Restful is the word evoked in me after reading this post. Just the right pace. And I say this knowing that somedays are restful and some not, but that you have the skill and perspective to realize that each day is a blessing, whether spent tearing down wallpaper or musing over the flower beds.

And we'll have that cuppa someday. We will. xxxooo

Robin said...

Oh Bev - as usual your writing so perfectly describes your thoughts and feelings and once again I recognize myself in your words.
I love your gentle, meaningful take on life. What a peaceful place to be at right now.

Linda said...

I'm right there with you Bev. I'm tired of living a rather "me centered" life that means I have to be part of everything and included by everyone or I somehow don't matter.
I want to minister to the people God had placed in my life, spend time nourishing those relationships (I'm trying to be a better listener - a life-long pursuit :-) ) and time doing things I love to do.
I'm heading to that site. Thanks Bev for saying so beautifully what is no doubt on so many of our hearts.

Barb said...

As your sister, I was aware that you were arriving at this place in your life. It's a very nice place to be, isn't it? You've expressed it beautifully and I especially love what you said about how things that are worth hearing don't have to be shouted.

I just added Jane's site to my bloglines. What a sweet web site she has.