Plans that Imploded!

What do they say about the 'best laid plans'? Yesterday ours blew up.

Plan A was nice and peaceful and had a gentle, rambly feel to it. It started with sleeping in. Then go to Lowes to do some appliance pricing. Then move mulch with Jeremy and Leslie at their place, then back home to clean up, go to the theater to see The Soloist, then home for leftover pizza and cobbler, and tuck ourselves into bed in freshly laundered pjs. A perfect summer Sunday.

Here's what really happened:

Barely six hours after I fell asleep the cat started walking all over the bed, and my face, and I got up before I realized I hadn't had enough sleep. I may have started my day with gnashing teeth.

Early morning we received a call to schedule a showing today, so we did a bit of prep. Anything the dogs could not undo in the next 24 hours, we did. (Removing dog kisses from glass, shedding hair from floors, or deposits in the back yard all have to wait til the last minute.) Then we put on clothes suitable for moving mulch, but decided to make a side trip, with a run to Lowes to look at appliances. I mean, how great do you have to look to go to Lowes? Or move mulch? We looked a bit like those people they always seem to find to interview after street shootings...

As we were walking into Lowes, I realized I'd left an appliance manual in the car, so I told Don I'd meet him inside. Back at the car, I opened the door and reached in to grab the manual. As I stood there, the man parked next to me approached his car. He climbed in, started his car, and looked at me through his window. I assumed he would wait for me, so I pulled the door slightly more open to grab the manual quickly. Instead he pulled out and my door caught on the side of his car, leaving a nice, long line of my vehicle's paint on his. He promptly got out, came around to my side, and began telling me he wanted my insurance info since it was clearly my fault for opening my door in his path. His eyes may have been bulging out of his head just a bit. We 'discussed' it for a few minutes, he asked for my insurance info one more time. I told him 'you do not get my insurance info, you get to wait while I go get my husband.' I may have muttered while walking into Lowes. To my credit I did not curse or cry.

Husband came back, and men proceeded to get annoyed with each other. Husband was agast that the mean man didn't wait for me to shut the door and get out of harm's way before he pulled out. After a very pleasant ten minutes or so of standing in the Lowes parking lot causing a scene, we ended up calling the police to sort it out. Mean man suggested he didn't have a lot of money, and maybe we did so why didn't we just write him a check or give him our insurance information. It made me wonder if he'd really taken a good look at us? Two police cars pulled up with us standing there in our semi-trashy clothes (so we now looked like we were part of the street shooting) and we didn't attract any attention at all. Nobody ever gives you a second glance, if you're standing in the Lowes parking lot on a Sunday morning, with two police cars penning you in. I did appreciate the policeman asked mean man to be quiet when he interrupted while I was giving my side of the story. So I get to call the insurance agency this morning. I bet our insurance guy starts a lot of his Monday mornings like that. I wonder if he mutters much.

While we're standing there waiting for the police, my cell rings and it's another realtor wanting to show our home in a few hours - that same day.

So we got done with the mean man and the police and Lowes, then moved mulch for an hour or so, just long enough to get filthy, and headed home. Cleaned us up, cleaned the rest of the house, loaded the dogs in the car, took them to our daughter's still vacant home, shut them in the basement, and went to the movies while the house was being shown. We may have sighed a little bit while driving to the theater.

We saw The Soloist with Jamie Lee Fox and Robert Downey, Jr.*

During the last two minutes of the movie, the alarms started going off, the exit lights started flashing, and we had to evacuate the theater and the mall immediately. Husband went back into theater to watch last two minutes of the movie while I stood in the lobby, sniffing for smoke. I might have muttered a bit about silly men who don't have a proper sense of danger.

We drove back to daughter's vacant house, gathered the dogs from basement, took them home, and zapped pizza. Sad to say, I was too whacked to manage cobbler. Perhaps another day.

But then who knows what today will hold? We have another showing this afternoon, this morning I'll be cleaning anything the dogs undid overnight, and then loading them into the car, hauling them to Leslie's, moving mulch, blah blah blah.

Isn't life just crazy sometimes? I wonder what God thinks when we mutter and sigh and gnash our teeth? I wonder if he feels like I used to, when our teenagers would roll their eyes at me, or is He possibly a better parent than me, ready instead to pour a glass of milk and set out a couple of straight from the oven chocolate chip cookies, as He leans in to listen? (Please don't attempt to correct my theology - that God bakes.)

*Note - The Soloist was absolutely the most moving, thought provoking movie I've seen in years. There was a bit of salty language but the acting was superb and the portrayal of those who are homeless had me sitting there stunned. I cannot believe we missed the last two minutes!