Save the One That's Drownin'.....

That's been our philosophy on raising kids. Whoever happens to be 2, or 13, or in love for the first time, or just got their first speeding ticket, or flunked their first test, or got dumped for the first time, or can't figure out their major in college, or had a first baby, or a first budget that works on paper but not in real life, or or or -

I don't know where Don and I ever heard it, but "Save the One That's Drownin", referring to reaching out with a helping hand to your kids - that's something that's worked for us.

We don't try to be 'fair', because of the three kids we got, none of them are alike. They have very different personalities, gifts, etc. One lives on a spread with goats and chickens and lots of kids and is 1200 miles away, the next is 1 mile away, just bought an old house and the very next day pretty much gutted it, and the last one also lives 1200 miles away and lives in a high rise in the smack dab middle of downtown Dallas. Fair didn't work when they were little, or teenagers, and it still doesn't even when they're grown. So we do whatever needs to be done, give whatever is needed at the moment, and don't keep track or measure who got what.

Right now 'middle kid' Leslie and her husband and toddler are renovating a 60 year old house so they can move in. It's been sitting vacant for about two years, and needs a lot of love. They've pooled a team consisting about 99% of family members, who come and help when they can, in any way they can. If you show up, they'll give you a job!

This past weekend we spent Easter Sunday eating deli fried chicken in the middle of what will be Landon's bedroom, on paper plates, then we spent the rest of the day outside. Leslie and I raked while Don dug flowerbeds and Jeremy cleaned out the shed. Landon helped by picking dandelions and riding the tractor with his Daddy. Yesterday Leslie and I painted the upstairs bedroom #2, while Jeremy hung shutters. Today she continued painting while I steamed wallpaper off the bathroom walls. Tomorrow I should get the rest of the wallpaper down and Jeremy's brother, Alan (who is the contractor extraordinare of this whole project), is going to teach me how to apply a 'skim coat' of plaster to walls! Friday mulch arrives and we'll be digging all around the yard to find perennial flowers we can transplant, to stretch the budget.

And on it goes. Right now I don't have a lot of time for long chats with the other two 'kids'. But that's okay. They know eventually they'll have a project or something will pop up, and we'll come alongside to help in whatever way we can. And then Leslie will get the shaft for awhile. And she'll be fine with that.

All you parents out there with a houseful of little ones, take heart. They grow up, and they still need you, but in entirely different ways. Actually they don't so much NEED you. They allow you to still be involved in their lives. They could absolutely figure it out without your help, but hopefully they still ask for that helping hand now and then, and hopefully you still say yes. Being asked at all is a blessing that makes it completely worth how sore I am when I go to bed at night. Besides that, we'll be moving ourselves sometime in the near future and these great kids we raised will all come alongside us, reach out helping hands to save us while we feel like we're the ones doing the drownin'. THAT'S when you know the 'kids' turned out great!