Monday, October 5, 2009

Do You Talk to Yourself?

My Mom does. Okay, everybody does, but I'd say my Mom does more than the average bear. (Does anybody say that? 'More than the average bear' - I've said it forever and swear I think it came from Yogi Bear, who was smarter than the average bear.) Anyway, I know everybody talks to themselves, and if you were a fly on the wall, and I was doing the budget, or maybe walking up and down the aisles of the grocery store looking for something, you'd hear me having a conversation with myself.

But I still think possibly my sweet Mom has taken it to a whole 'nuther level... I'm sure it's just habit, one I happen to find endearing :-) So most of the time I ignore it, or I guess it actually just sort of goes unnoticed, and once in awhile when I'm not sure if she's talking to me or herself, I'll ask, 'are you talking to me, Mom?' and she'll answer, 'no, sorry, I was just talking to myself.'

So by day six of being together I'd pretty much gotten used to it again, only paying enough attention to know if she was talking to me. After we got home from visiting my sister in Grand Junction, and I'd gone to dinner with my girlfriends from high school, and we'd stayed up talking late again til most of the problems of the world were solved, it was bedtime. I told Mom goodnight, and proceeded to my room to turn in for the night.

And I heard her talking, from her bed. For some reason I listened before I asked, and within seconds realized who she was talking to. It's a moment I will treasure forever. She was talking to God, lying in her bed, ready to go to sleep, but not before she thanked him for getting us home safe. I heard that much then I tuned out to give her some privacy, but just the little I heard was such a gem - to hear my mother praying. Talking to God like he was right there, like the conversation was continuing, and I'm sure it was.

This past Sunday our pastor started a sermon series called 'More Than Words', on prayer. His opening sermon was supposed to teach us that praying is not that complicated, it's just talking to God. Much like my mother had been doing. He shared a quote that he'd shared a few years ago, and this time he made it available on our church website. I printed it out for my devotion basket and thought I'd share it with you, in case you want to have a conversation with Him too:

Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pains, to a dear friend. Tell Him your troubles, that He may comfort you; tell Him your joys, that He may sober them; tell Him your longings, that He may purify them; tell Him your dislikes, that He may help you conquer them, talk to Him of your temptations, that He may shield you from them; lay bare your indifference to good, your depraved tastes for evil, you instability. Tell Him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself and others.

If you pour out all you weaknesses, needs, and troubles, there will be no lack of what to say. You will never exhaust the subject. It is continually being renewed. People who have no secrets from each other never want for subjects of conversation. They do not weigh their words, for there is nothing to be held back; neither do they seek for something to say. They talk out of the abundance of the heart, without consideration they say what they think.

Blessed are they who attain to such familiar, unreserved, conversation with God.

My Mom doesn't need a copy, she doesn't need to hear the sermon - she already has it down.


Sarah said...

Oh, I love this! Addie prays out loud, too, usually in the middle of a group prayer when everybody can hear her thanking God for making her a princess, loudly. She clasps her hands and squeezes her eyes shut, and it's so, so precious! She and Grandma would be in good company!

Grandma does talk to herself a lot!--So do you, so do I, and so does Addie. Not a bad habit to pass down, if you ask me :)

Susanne said...

So sweet. To know your Mom is praying. What a treasure.

Andrea said...

Why doesn't it surprise me that your mom does this? Endearing is exactly the word I would use too. Although she mostly just talked to me when we were together. ;)

Gretchen said...

One of our pastors says that in the countries he's visited (Thailand, Uganda), they often pray all aloud all the time, rather than being silently led by a preacher. He says it's the most lovliest of noises, all the people praising, beseeching, and conversing with God all at once.

Your mom is just plain good people to me.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful. I needed this reminder. Thank you :)

Barb said...

This really tugs at my heart, Bev. I know you'll always remember hearing our mom talk to God like He was right there, which He was of course.

Mom has always, always talked to herself. She has whole conversations with herself and it always tickles me when I witness it. I honestly don't think she's even aware she does it. What a character she is. :-)