Adventure 101

We're back home - in our nest. Which is now clean enough to be sanitary, but not fabulous. And we have non-curdled milk and yogurt with dates that haven't expired and lunch meat that isn't slick and slimy. And clean underwear.

And we've been home together for two whole days living the retired life and haven't killed each other yet.

It feels weird - good but weird. We forget what day it is - vacation does that but not having to get up and go anywhere does too. Rolling over in the bed at 8 am and seeing a man lying there scares the beegeebees out of me then I remember, oh yeah, he lives here, he's mine, and he doesn't have to go anywhere. I don't know if I'm going to recognize this man once the bags disappear from under his eyes, they've been there so many years.

Breakfast comes and we don't know what to do - this man who used to eat breakfast at his desk over morning emails now sits at the coffee table with the paper. He still eats the same thing and I'm pretty sure he's already wondering where the bacon and eggs he dreamed of went. And he's drinking more than his share of the coffee which is a good thing but still strange.

Today was clean the apartment day. Twenty-nine years ago Don told me his part of cleaning the house would be to not get it dirty. So I warned him last night I was going to clean this morning, and he manned up (I'm pretty sure he was terrified he'd joined the cleaning crew and I'm pretty sure he'd rather go back to work than clean bathrooms and vacuum) and asked me at 9 am how he could help. I asked if he would please straighten the garage, make sense of all the moving boxes, find out if we need to buy more and then could he please take the car and fill it with gas, pick up prescriptions and check out renting a U-haul for our upcoming move.

I figured it would give him a break from me for a good few hours, and after about ten days straight of looking at me I was pretty sure he would be ready to be gone for awhile. We're down to one car now, having lost the company car he drove for the past 29 years, and I quickly told him he can have ours. It can be his - feel free to keep it clean, oil changed, current on maintenance and full of gas. I don't really need a car, just a driver most of the time!

At 4:30 this afternoon I started to make supper and realized I was three hours early. This evening we watched three episodes of Lost and two of American Idol. Because we can. And we sat and just talked a couple of different times, about finding a church, trading in a vehicle, whether to have a pet, physical therapy, finding doctors, etc. etc. etc. Talk is good - lots of talking will keep us together, knowing what the other one is thinking. Thank you, Pastor Ron, for your marriage class five years ago. We're reaping the benefits of it now, listening to what's on each other's minds. Sharing fears, concerns, dreams.

So we're not very good at this yet, but there's hope. We're cutting fresh paths together and enjoying staying up too late, sleeping in, making plans.. This path we're on has a few potholes in it, but that's okay. A road that is completely smooth makes for a pretty boring ride. That's half the fun of life, isn't it - not having it figured out all the time. Maybe this is what being a Newlywed felt like and I'd just forgotten - Adventure 101.

Two nights from now I've got an evening out with 19 girlfriends for dinner and a play. I'm certain I'll have a blast. We'll giggle and talk and eat and sing. And that newly retired man of mine? He may take his car to the back parking lot and do donuts, or drive to the steakhouse by himself for a manly meal. Or zap a TV dinner, stay home and watch a dozen episodes of CSI. A bit of absence that'll make the heart grow fonder, then we'll come back together for yogurt and coffee and the newspaper while we figure out another day. So far we're loving it!